Let's talk about it: Beauty standards gives us headache.

Hey loves!

You know how life gets busy with a million things to juggle? That’s been me lately. I’m currently on holiday, which makes finding time to write a bit trickier. But I’m here, pushing through. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, but I’m aiming to blog weekly - and as I get the hang of it, I might even post more often. Some of you have encouraged me to write more, and I’m so grateful for your support!

Starting this blog has brought its fair share of anxiety, but I pray that God will replace that with passion and confidence as I continue. Everyone starts somewhere, and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay to be anxious at the beginning; if anything, it’s perfectly normal. I saw a TikTok last week that said you need to give yourself time when trying something new instead of quitting too soon - and it's true! Especially in a generation wired for instant gratification, it’s so easy to want to be perfect at everything the minute you start. The beauty of the process has been sort of lost on us... but I'm challenging myself to have the patience to see it through.

Anyway, today I want to dive into a topic that might stir the waters: Mental health and beauty standards. There’s so much to unpack, but I’ll keep it brief. My hope is that this can be used as a benchmark for opening conversations and prompting reflection.

What Are Beauty Standards?

Beauty standards are societal norms that define what’s considered physically attractive or visually appealing within a particular culture. These standards vary across different groups and are influenced by cultural, social, and historical factors. In ancient societies like Greece and Egypt, beauty was often linked to symmetry, proportion, and specific physical traits. During the Renaissance, pale skin, slender figures, and delicate features were prized. This trend of narrowly defined beauty ideals has continued into modern times.

The 20th century saw Hollywood and the fashion industry promoting a globalised notion of beauty that prioritised Western traits - slim bodies, fair skin, and specific facial features. This has had a disproportionately negative impact on women of colour, who are often excluded from these beauty narratives. Even today, while there’s more recognition of diverse beauty, Westernised standards still shape global perceptions of attractiveness.

What’s interesting (and frankly exhausting) is how quickly beauty standards shift. Not long ago, the 'slim thick' physique became the ultimate goal, pushing many women to undergo risky surgeries like BBLs. The death toll for such procedures rises every day, which begs the question: Is having a big bum really worth losing your life? For many, tragically, the answer is yes.

The Pressure on Women of Colour

Recently, a rapper I’ve followed since I was 15 underwent cosmetic surgery, and I was shocked. She got a boob job and previously had a BBL. I remember thinking she was fine as she was. “You don’t need it,” is something we often say to people who undergo these changes, but does it really matter in that moment? What kind of pressures are we as women under - both conscious and subconscious, that have made life-threatening surgeries seem normal?

These pressures don’t just apply to surgeries. Think about more seemingly trivial beauty trends like using tape to temporarily lift and smooth facial skin or the popularity of filters on social media that create unrealistic versions of our faces. These filters often alter our features in ways that aren’t real, leading to dissatisfaction with our natural looks. As a Black woman, these eurocentric filters often highlight the beauty standards pushed upon us - standards that reflect colonial influences and histories of exclusion.

I used to be a victim of this. I remember using filters because they made my nose look slimmer and ‘less ethnic.’ I was mocked for my nose in primary school, and it’s always been an insecurity of mine. Those childhood experiences sometimes made me feel undesirable and made me not want to have an ‘African-looking’ nose. Even without explicitly being told, the media, ads, and movies showed me what beauty was supposed to look like - and none of it resembled me.

The Tradeoff: Mental Health vs. Beauty

Internalising beauty standards, especially those you see online, can lead to a desire to replicate them, sometimes at the cost of your mental wellbeing. This can manifest in many ways, from fostering unrealistic expectations and constant self-comparisons to severe issues like body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. I’m a HUGE overthinker, and I’ve been guilty of comparing myself to the beautiful girls I see on TikTok. It got BAD - so bad that I had to snap myself out of it by cutting down my screen time. I realised I couldn’t spend my life comparing myself to someone else because we are two completely different people. I knew I had to accept myself for who I am.

The relentless pressure to meet unattainable beauty ideals doesn’t just affect you emotionally, it can also take a toll on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive behaviours. This obsession with looks can distract you from more important aspects of life, like your studies or career. And let’s not forget the financial strain of constantly trying to keep up with beauty trends. The emotional and psychological toll of chasing these ideals often leads to burnout and a sense of inadequacy.

The Capitalist Cycle: Beauty and Consumerism

At the heart of this is capitalism, which has created a symbiotic relationship between beauty standards and consumerism. Companies profit from the insecurities they help foster, offering products and services that promise to help us meet these unattainable standards. It’s a cycle: they implant artificial insecurities into us, and then they sell us the solutions. This constant bombardment convinces us that our worth is tied to our physical appearance, fueling a cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction. The beauty industry thrives on this, pushing products and procedures that promise perfection but often leave us feeling emptier than before.

Social media influencers, beauty gurus, and celebrity endorsements only amplify these messages. Algorithms are designed to show us more of what we engage with, trapping us in a bubble of beauty content that can make these products and looks seem essential. But the truth is, it’s all about profit. The industry wants us to believe that we need these products to be happy, to be beautiful, to be enough.

Breaking Free: A New Standard

Challenging these norms is possible, but it requires us to be mindful of the messages we’re consuming. We need to start by asking ourselves what we are consuming and why we are doing so.

What ideas were 10-year-old me being fed? What example are we setting for our younger sisters, nieces, cousins and friends? It’s about recognising that these insecurities are not inherent but implanted. Personally, I had to ease off using face-slimming filters because I realised they didn’t reflect my natural looks. They were feeding into insecurities that didn’t originate with me but were imposed on me by society.

The truth is, we all feel pressure to conform; it’s normal. What’s important is to remember that beauty is subjective and multifaceted. Maturing is realising you should be your own beauty standard. Instead of chasing an ideal that was never meant for us, we can focus on self-care that nurtures our minds and bodies, not just our appearance. Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in activities that build your confidence from within, and remember that beauty is not a one-size-fits-all concept.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as removing the background noise. If you see something on your timeline or FYP that doesn’t sit right with you, click ‘not interested’ or scroll past it. There’s so much other helpful and inspiring content out there. Beauty is about self-expression, not squeezing yourself into a box, and when we internalise these standards, we often lose sight of that.

Final Thoughts

True beauty shines from self-acceptance and embracing who you are - not from fitting into someone else’s mould. Internalising these beauty standards can harm your mental health in the long run, but challenging them can lead to a healthier, more inclusive understanding of beauty that prioritises mental well-being.

I’m going to stop here because this conversation can go on forever! There’s so much more to discuss, and I can definitely go deeper in future posts.

But for now, take care of yourselves, and immerse yourselves in positive communities with like-minded, supportive people.

With curiosity and love,

Just Jenni

P.S. Personally, I also like to recite positive affirmations to myself, and I use an app called 'I Am' that sends me uplifting affirmations throughout the day. You can customise it to suit your preferences.

Check it out:

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/i-am-daily-affirmations/id874656917

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hrd.iam&pcampaignid=web_share