Let's have ANOTHER talk about it: Beauty standards give us migraines!

Hey loves,

Guess who’s back? Yes, it’s me! I know, I’ve been MIA for a few weeks, but life has been coming at me fast. I've been a bit off the grid between back-to-back holidays and juggling all the chaos life throws at us.

But here I am, ready to dive back into our chats! Now, just because I’ve been away doesn’t mean my passion for writing has faded. Far from it!

Sometimes, time management gets the better of us, and things you love get pushed to the side before you know it. But trust me, my love for this blog and our conversations hasn’t gone anywhere.

Speaking of conversations, we delved into beauty standards, mental well-being, and all that good stuff in our last chat. Some of you reached out, asking me to dive deeper into those topics - and how could I resist? So, let’s pick up right where we left off.

I was recently holidaying in America, and let me tell you, it was amazing. I loved it there, and yes, I ate my body weight in all the delicious food I could get my hands on!

But what really caught my eye was the fashion. People were bold, adventurous, and unafraid to express themselves through their clothes in ways I don’t often see here in London. It was fresh and exciting, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

I observed that American beauty standards are a captivating mix of cultural influences and regional quirks. There’s a clear emphasis on youthfulness, with many people investing in skincare and cosmetic procedures to keep the years at bay. Fitness, too, is practically a religion - everyone seems to be chasing that perfectly toned physique. So many women of all demographics dressed in Lululemon, which, as you might know, has taken TikTok by storm!

The tattoo culture there is unbelievable, with people adorned with all kinds of patterns, stories, and tales all over their bodies.

And let’s not forget about cosmetic enhancements. Botox and fillers are everywhere, and they speak volumes about the pressure to meet certain beauty ideals. I also noticed something striking among Black women - haircare is a serious business, and every woman I saw had her hair done to perfection. It was stunning and showcased hair's importance in Black beauty standards.

But what I found most encouraging was the diversity in body types. I saw people of all shapes and sizes, which was a refreshing reminder that the narrow beauty standards of the old are being challenged increasingly. Beauty trends in America are constantly shifting, primarily driven by fashion and the fast pace of social media, and they vary from place to place, reflecting the country’s incredible diversity. As we know, America is notorious for BBLs, especially in Atlanta, and I believe it’s celebrities like the Kardashians who triggered this ‘trend’, making people long for snatched waists, wide hips, and buttocks that are so bouncy and huge.

The Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) originated in Brazil and became popular in the 2000s, thanks to Brazilian plastic surgeon Dr. Ivo Pitanguy. This procedure involves liposuction to remove fat from other body parts, which is then purified and injected into the buttocks to create a fuller, more lifted appearance.

Making it one of the most sought-after cosmetic surgeries globally, the BBL gained widespread popularity due to its natural results and the influence of celebrities such as Kylie Jenner, Saweetie, Blac Chyna, Latto, SZA, and Summer Walker. I can’t continue this list but I’m sure you get the overall gist.

It rhymes, see what I did there?😏

ANYWAYS, back to BBLs.

In short, beauty standards in the U.S. are complex and ever-evolving, but they play a massive role in shaping how beauty is understood and pursued. They have such a prominent position in the way social media is shaped and presented because whatever you do, they’re always there, whether that’s Americans on your FYP when you’re scrolling on TikTok or news about a US socialite spreading around to where it reaches British tabloids… Americans are always there.

When discussing the phenomenon of BBLs one day, a fascinating idea was brought up about the intersection of class and race in shaping beauty standards—and I couldn’t help but think it was genius. Let’s break it down:

Women from white, upper-class social circles often gravitate towards the "slim and natural" aesthetic, synonymous with old-money elegance. Their investments in their bodies look different—think golf, Pilates, and yoga. Drenched in luxury, these activities quietly signal wealth through a lean, toned physique. The subtlety of this approach whispers classiness without needing to shout.

In contrast, for many Black women, especially in the U.S., wealth is often expressed through a more dramatic transformation, like a BBL (and similar cosmetic surgeries such as implants, butt shots, or even bum filler). We can’t ignore that these surgeries come with a hefty price tag, making them a bold statement of financial power.

It’s no secret that some Black female celebrities, particularly rappers, have helped cement the full-figured, curvaceous body as a modern beauty ideal. Whether or not they've had a BBL, this unspoken standard encourages many women to achieve that coveted hourglass shape. The ripple effect has been significant, especially in U.S. Black culture, though women from various ethnic backgrounds have also felt the pull towards this aesthetic.

Of course, a BBL isn’t the only way women achieve this look. Take Nicki Minaj, who’s opted for implants, or Jayda Wayda, known for butt shots. The point is, there’s a constant narrative at play, this is what beauty should look like, and if you want to be admired, you need to fit the mould.

But why?

Why is this image of beauty so prized, and why do so many feel the need to conform to it?

And here’s where sexualisation rears its head.

In today’s society, curves, particularly exaggerated ones have become sexualised to the point where a woman’s body is seen as something to be consumed rather than celebrated for her own empowerment. The pressure to have a body that aligns with these hyper-idealised standards often stems from society’s fixation on what men find desirable. It’s as if achieving this look is seen as a shortcut to validation, attention, and even success.

This leads to how men can forget about the other attributes of a woman because they’re hyper-focused on the physical parts of her. For example, how many times have you heard a guy say they like a woman who’s got a ‘big bum’ and sometimes ‘big breasts’?

It’s not only the lower half of the body that people are paying to get work done on; it’s also their bosom, and in reality, it’s become a messy whirlpool of confusion, sadness, and lack of ownership in how God has created you.

It is sad, but from a psychological point of view, if you sense that you’re unhappy and want the change, it’s within your right to do so. I advocate for cautious research and going to trusted professionals, as these procedures can be life-threatening.

So, let’s pause and think: why has this become the ultimate beauty standard?

And more importantly, how do we reclaim our bodies from being sexualised objects and redefine what beauty means on our own terms?

Women may feel pressured to conform to this image because it’s portrayed as the key to admiration, validation, and success in today’s society. The challenge is shifting the narrative from external validation to self-defined beauty, where women reclaim their bodies for themselves, free from societal expectations.

Women can reclaim their bodies by embracing a broader definition of beauty that prioritises self-love, health, and individuality over societal standards. By focusing on self-care and limiting media influence perpetuating unrealistic ideals, women can make personal choices about their bodies based on their desires rather than external pressures. Surrounding themselves with supportive communities celebrating diverse body types also helps shift the focus from seeking validation to achieving personal fulfilment and self-empowerment.

Don’t you think it’s wild how the trend to be skinny was 20 years ago, and now it’s come to this?

The fluctuations of conforming to trends and change are wild. Take Kim K, who once had a wildly exaggerated curvaceous body and faced BBL allegations (whether she has had that specific surgery done, I'm not sure); however, we know through common

knowledge she has been under the knife. Now, when you see Kim, she’s slimmer than before, insinuating she could have fallen for this idea of wanting to be ‘skinny’.

As a young woman in Western society, I feel like these women are a litmus test for how we should present ourselves. When it comes to bodies, I’ve heard discourse about wanting to have a ‘fat ass’, be a ‘skinny queen’, or ‘lose weight’. There’s a plethora of ways someone may want to look good to feel good, and that’s the beauty of all this; it’s subjective, meaning we should be on our own journeys and take it easy. Everyone’s body is different, so you should avoid self-comparing with others. Beauty isn’t just from the outside; your individuality and who you are determines your fascination, which people will still acknowledge and admire.

Be appreciative of God bringing you onto this earth and show Him praise and glory.

Let’s chat about beauty standards for a minute. Here’s the deal: beauty trends come and go faster than a TikTok challenge, but your worth? That’s the real deal.

So, next time you find yourself caught in the vortex of comparing your looks to a filtered Instagram pic or the latest celebrity, remember: those standards are like fast food - enticing but not consistently nutritious.

Your beauty is like a fine wine and isn’t bound by fleeting trends. Instead of chasing after someone else’s idea of perfect, try this: speak kindly to yourself, hype yourself up, and celebrate what makes you stand out.

Embrace the real you, imperfections and all. At the end of the day, the most captivating beauty is the one that radiates from being genuinely content and unapologetically yourself. And trust me, that’s the kind of beauty that never goes out of style.

With love and curiosity,

Just Jenni